Latymer Old Boys Vets @ home to Maccabi Lions Vets - 1-1 Draw(!)

It was nice to be contacted in the week by Pete Collop, Captain of the 1st XI, to ask if I could play again on the Saturday, and I would have snatched his hand off had there been no Vets match scheduled for the Sunday. Two games in one weekend kind of takes the piss a bit on poor Wifey, so I declined and was majorly focused on putting in a solid performance for the 'overs.'

Our home games have, thus far, been non-existent as the club seem to be in endless negotiations and talks over our proposed use of the new Queen Elizabeth II stadium at the top of Enfield playing fields. This new arena seems to have taken an age to finally get to the finished article but I have to say it is rather splendid. Complete with an athletics track round the pitch (rather spoiling the atmosphere no doubt!), the ground is the new home of Enfield Town and we have been led to believe that the Vets will be allowed to use it on a Sunday. Given the excellent venues that the likes of Maccabi Lions and North Greenford use it would be fitting and in-keeping with the standard of the league to be able to host our opponents in this new stadium.

Alas, we were put off again for this weeks game at home to Maccabi so had to slum it on the regular pitches on the fields. The new changing rooms were also "not quite finished" and so we had to use the joyous Central Pavilion. The Central Pav is proper old school. There are no individual changing rooms - rather a full-on open room where all the teams (and there are always loads) have to get changed with only a few inches of bench and a broken clothes peg for every couple of men! You're afraid to bend over to tie your boots for fear of getting knocked arse-over-tit and the testosterone in the air is only overshadowed by the smell of sweat, deep-heat and some fat blokes Indian from the night before.

Even so, a home fixture is a home fixture and surely the place you might hope to build s decent run of results from....

We were up against Maccabi Lions who were our opponents for the opening game of the season. They were too strong for us on their big, beautiful pitch that day running out as 6-2 winners. I feared a similar story if I'm honest, purely because it had been about a month since our last game! For different reasons we've had fixtures postponed and I was worried the gap since our last promising performance against Garston would have filtered out any drive and momentum we might have looked to build on.

Thankfully, we had decent numbers in terms of personnel for the match with fourteen names on the squad list for the fixture. Nick Klinsman was still out having still not been able to recover from an ankle injury picked up six weeks ago against the Met Police! I think Nick must have felt he was in the Doctors surgery before the game as about four of us offered expert opinions and advice on what the injury had to be. I diagnosed tendinitis and told him to "keep it elevated wherever possible and use ice or freeze gel as much as possible." Dr. Luffy took Nick through his symptoms and recommended a sort of flexing routine of exercises to "keep it loose" while Doctors Lev and Scottish John nodded in approval while concurring.

No Codz either (bad back) meant that Wrexy was partnered at Centre Back by the Scotsman for the first time after a run of games at full back. These slots were filled by Mark as usual on the left and Adam, back in after missing a couple of games of the right. We had a very attack-minded midfield with Luffy and Dino on the flanks and Jonesy and Paul in the middle. It was nice to have our play maker back and I was looking forward to him linking up with Paul who also had missed the last two games. Matt was partnered by Sully up top and to be fair I thought we looked a strong unit, especially with Lev, Nipper and Shamzey on the bench.

I loved the fact that Ref looked like some fat trucker, complete with dirty baseball cap and scruffy beard. I think I even saw traces of brown sauce on his chops from his morning bacon butty!

So did we take another spanking or did we finally manage to notch our first win of the season? Well the answer is no - to both questions. Yes, Constant Reader, our first points of the season came by way of one of the luckiest, frenetic, ball-hits-woodwork-fifty-chuffing-times, cheekiest 1-1 draws known to man. And this is how it happened...

I actually thought we played well for the first fifteen minutes or so, keeping the ball and putting a decent string of sensible passes together several times. The game was generally being played around the halfway line and more so into their half, with once again, Jonesy totally dominating possession. He is always looking for the ball and creating the angle to receive the ball back after a pass and just doesn't stop running. His link up play with both Luffy and Dino was really good and Paul was really strong too. I felt we were coping really well and I hadn't really been troubled at all through the first quarter of the game. Maccabi are a good side and slowly did start to exert themselves into the game. They were constantly looking to get the ball wide, especially down their left, with a view to getting a cross in. Adam was having what I think was his best game of the season at right-back - closing down their winger as much as possible and Dino was doing well to support this as well.

I was called into action for the first time when scramble saw the ball fly into my penalty area to the feet of Mister Attacker. He sort of hesitated as he came forward because suddenly he was one on one with me. This lack of initiative from him meant that I was able to close him down enough to get down quickly and get a boot on the ball to scuff it wide for their first corner.

This proved a good moment for me too  - the corner was smashed high and at pace but was literally coming straight down my throat as I was looking at it. A nice early scream from me saw me follow up with a really decent take out of the air as the ball stuck to my gloves like glue. For a goalkeeper this is always a nice moment as it inspires confidence.

Not long after that their attacker broke into my box down their left hand side. As he strode forward on goal the angle was fairly tight and in my favour. Even so his shot beat me but not my post as it luckily hit my left upright and literally rebounded straight into my arms as I was lying on the floor!

You could say we had started to ride our luck just a little bit. Various incidents included a one on one of sorts as their bloke was put clean through - I committed to come really far out to meet him while he was still outside my box, forcing him to pelt a chipped effort over my head. The bar came to our rescue this time, although I must admit I felt good that I'd rushed him into that particular effort.

Another moment saw Adam rocket the ball over my own bar as he cleared more danger and then of course the inevitable happened, and they scored.

Their lad broke into the box down their right this time and sprinted in on goal. The angle was again quite tight and I hugged my near post so I couldn't be embarrassed with any shot there. When the shot came it went across me and I did get a decent body behind it making a standard save. As it rebounded back towards the penalty spot a mad scramble from the Latymer boys wasn't enough to stop it rolling straight to one of them and he cooley popped the ball into my bottom right hand corner.

The pressure had been quite strong from them but it was still disappointing to concede.

Our forwards hadn't had a great deal of joy and I think I remember only a couple of efforts that didn't trouble their keeper. Their number one was a different lad from the first game and it has to be said - this bloke was a bit of a pudding. He didn't look like he could get off the floor if he was called into action and I was just praying Matt could unleash one of his unstoppable long-range shots on his goal. Matt and I had spoken before the game started as I pointed out to him what I saw as a possible Achilles heel, and Matt assured me he'd be setting his sights as much as possible. Frustratingly, the opportunities just weren't forthcoming, and the one half-chance that did come Matt's way was from quite far out and sadly he just couldn't keep the ball from going high and wide.

It wasn't long after going a goal down that the ghosts of high-balls past came back to haunt me. I could see their winger desperately trying to shape to get the ball over at my goal from their wide left position. I wanted him closed down, no-one did and finally he lofted the ball directly at me . I had all the time in the world to see it but yes it was a windy day and I felt that on its path towards my goal it did experience a sudden whoosh that helped it loop and fly more than just a bit. I stumbled back and caught a stud on the bumpy grass under-foot. In my defence it was always going into that tricky area between bar and post and it was coming down from a silly height. I missed it and it went in as I fell like a pile of bricks into my own net. Gutted.... The funny thing was as that Scottish John was saying "Dinna worry Greg - it's not a goal..."

Confused, I quickly got the gist that as the ball had flew over, one of their lads was standing in an off-side position. I mean he wasn't active but Nipper popped his flag up anyway and had the ball required a touch off him it would have been a genuine free-kick to us. Rather brilliantly, the Ref had blown his whistle before the ball had gone in and while it was in mid-air!! Maccabi were off celebrating and our lot were going mad at the Ref. After all we play to the whistle right? The Ref was desperately trying to back-track over his premature whistle saying that the ball was going in anyway. That was until I rather cheekily and bare-facedly piped up that it was in-fact his whistle that had "made me stop" had "put me off" and "I had it covered but let it go cos your whistle went!"

The poor Ref had no choice but to disallow the goal and award the free-kick!! Priceless.

Even though it was ruled out, I was genuinely chuffed to make amends minutes later. The ball pinged about round the edge of my box and eventually was driven very low and very hard at my bottom right hand corner. I almost left it as I thought for a second it was going wide but before I knew it I had managed to get down and offer a full, firm hand to palm it round the post. As I looked past me post save I could see the ball literally curling inches wide. Relief! It was almost a carbon copy of a save I'd made for the 1st XI a coupe of weeks earlier and I didn't feel such a twat after the goal that wasn't incident.

We made it to half time and were really geared up to give it a real go in the second half. Matt had to disappear to a prior commitment so Nipper came into the fray. Paul assured me he needed no encouragement to shoot when I pointed out their fat keeper and we kicked off and prayed for a miracle.

Someone was listening somewhere because for the next forty five minutes we soaked up so much pressure and cashed in our lucky dollars for the season as Maccabi did everything but score a second goal. They were firmly camped in our half and had a few shots fly wide or over that perhaps they could and should have scored from. Luffy's hammy seemed to go again so Shamzey came on and later, Lev replaced a hobbling Scottish John.

They crashed my bar another two times and I was punching balls clear where possible as lady luck smiled on us and it got to the stage where John Motson would have said something like "and you can just sense that Maccabi Lions may be made to pay for squandering what can only be described as a mountain of opportunities at the Latymer goal!"

And you know what? Motty would have been right. We picked up a free kick as one of our boys was chopped down midway into their half and down our right. Adam took it a pinged the ball at pace straight onto the edge of their six yard box. It was such a scramble and from where I was I couldn't;t really see it but at least three of our lot went up for the ball as did their keeper. He missed it, someone connected with it and the ball ended up in the net!! Fuck me we'd scored. 1-1

Maccabi were going bonkers claiming a foul on their Keeper but the Ref wasn't having it and awarded the goal. Shamzey said he'd got "something on it", Sully was desperately trying to convince anyone who'd listen that he had "the final touch" and Paul described how he'd "barged through the Keeper with an elbow and headed the ball home!" Either way it was more like tag-team move out of WWE on their poor Keeper because Paul admitted later that it was a definite foul. Who fucking cares? We deserved the goal because we've had nothing this season and were due a bit of luck for a change.

The goal came with about six minutes left and for the final five it was like the Alamo on my goal. Maccabi prodded and poked trying top break through to nick a late winner. And sure enough they had their chance...

I was ultra determined that I wouldn't concede, so when their attacker managed to wriggle past our last defender to be clean through in a one-on-one I stood tall, and I stood firm. The shot was hard but I sprang to my right and made a strong, decent save. The danger was only averted when the ball that rebounded to another of them was sent wide of my post.

They had corner after corner and I did enough to block a header point blank as I rose with their striker, and there was time for one final shot on my goal that was going in until, for some reason, their number 17 decided he'd get a flick on it that sent it over!

The final whistle was music to my ears and I was elated that we had finally got some points. It felt as good as a win and I know that all the Latymer lads were just chuffed to bits. It was nice to see Pete and Andy had arrived during the second half to watch the game and they enjoyed the result as much as anybody. Jonesy and Adam commented that I must have been carrying my rabbit's foot, four leaf clover and lucky horse-shoe in my bag that morning - something like that!

Yes, we had been lucky but I firmly believe you make your own luck. Football is the best game in the world and we proved that against a strong team, who had previously beaten us heavily, we could compete.

The new cafe and bar facilities were open so we thoroughly enjoyed a pint and a sarnie and looked forward to our next game and the thought of making it to our first win.

This week's look-a-like's must surely be Paul and Sully after their impression of the Legion of Doom with their double-team on the Maccabi Keeper: